Post by -- Heretic on Jun 6, 2015 11:06:36 GMT
(All prior entries have been placed in a text document, I just want to keep this clean and relevant.)
7/7/2015
Yet another friend..lost...
Heartache.. Abandonment and betrayal.. How could she? How could they?
Today.. I lost my absolute best friend, and another very close friend.. Both very important to me.. Both turning out to be nothing but selfish traitors who didn't care a bit for me..
Eclipse... How could she? After all we've been through and all that's been said... How dare she deem me a liar, how dare she threaten to kill me.. All for me simply offering advice that she asked me to give!
It...seemed so unlike her but I'm certain it was real. Ordealis said so. I... I think I trust him again.
I don't know..everything is wrong today. Nothing makes sense.
My head hurts... I feel like curling up and sleeping for a year. Can't write anymore now...
~The Rainmaker
7/12/2015
Forgive me...
I am a naive, ignorant, stupid creature who should never have come to the Realms.
How did I not see it.. How did I let it rule my life for this past week? Why did I go so far as to act on it...
Verrous is dead..for real this time...
And my friendship with Eclipse is destroyed beyond recognition.. All thanks to me. It doesn't matter if it was all a nightmare created by Ordealis. I was the one that said all those things to her. I was the one that hurt her. Physically and emotionally..
Thinking about her as she cried, bleeding and laying in the sand... It..hurts so much..
Ordealis wanted to create division and conflict within our group.. Well, he's done it..
I now know the truth behind him. He's at the root of it all.. It was never Verrous. But I don't care.. All I want to do is stay in my little cave and shut out the world. It holds no happiness for me right now.
I will never forgive myself.
~The Rainmaker
7/13/2015
7/7/2015
Yet another friend..lost...
Heartache.. Abandonment and betrayal.. How could she? How could they?
Today.. I lost my absolute best friend, and another very close friend.. Both very important to me.. Both turning out to be nothing but selfish traitors who didn't care a bit for me..
Eclipse... How could she? After all we've been through and all that's been said... How dare she deem me a liar, how dare she threaten to kill me.. All for me simply offering advice that she asked me to give!
It...seemed so unlike her but I'm certain it was real. Ordealis said so. I... I think I trust him again.
I don't know..everything is wrong today. Nothing makes sense.
My head hurts... I feel like curling up and sleeping for a year. Can't write anymore now...
~The Rainmaker
7/12/2015
Forgive me...
I am a naive, ignorant, stupid creature who should never have come to the Realms.
How did I not see it.. How did I let it rule my life for this past week? Why did I go so far as to act on it...
Verrous is dead..for real this time...
And my friendship with Eclipse is destroyed beyond recognition.. All thanks to me. It doesn't matter if it was all a nightmare created by Ordealis. I was the one that said all those things to her. I was the one that hurt her. Physically and emotionally..
Thinking about her as she cried, bleeding and laying in the sand... It..hurts so much..
Ordealis wanted to create division and conflict within our group.. Well, he's done it..
I now know the truth behind him. He's at the root of it all.. It was never Verrous. But I don't care.. All I want to do is stay in my little cave and shut out the world. It holds no happiness for me right now.
I will never forgive myself.
~The Rainmaker
7/13/2015
Be Calm.
Somehow...despite my words, despite my actions, despite...me being me.. Eclipse forgave me. I hadn't even gotten a chance to say sorry before she forgave me.. Is she so certain that was the right thing to do?
After all, everything I touch is ruined in the end. I'll probably just end up hurting her again.
...No, I shouldn't think like that. That's not..how I was taught. Maybe it's just these realms.. Prior to this place..other than the land I was hatched in, everything was great.. No death, no stress, no betrayal and certainly no creatures bent on world domination...
Of course.. I've also never met someone as amazing as Eclipse, in all my travels.. Or as great as any of the others. They're all very important to me.. I guess I never had time to. It was one place for a week, another for a day, some for a month or two..
Yet I feel like everything is out to get me here. Everything, and everyone. Betrayal has been a common theme already, and even though true betrayal has only been found in those that never cared for me anyway.. It just goes to show how easily reality can tear apart.
Have I just been naive all of these years? I've never known misery such as this! Not since I left. Have I been expecting too much? Have I been too cheery, too trusting, too..loyal?
I think Ordealis has done something to my mind.. Maybe that's what happens when you're endlessly tormented when the world already felt as dark as it could be. A world which was brightened to almost blinding amounts, as Eclipse and I repaired our bond..but I didn't say everything I should have and now I just feel very empty. And..strangely broken.
I think I said something wrong... I didn't leave that conversation feeling as great as I had hoped.
Who knew a cold, empty cave could feel so lonely? I love its location...but the trickle of the river can only keep me happy for so long.
Where do I go from here? Do I leave the realms, resume my travels, go back to my nomadic lifestyle? Maybe always moving around just got me out of places before things went south. But Ordealis isn't finished wreaking havoc, and so far I'm the only one who knows the truth about him.
I guess I can't leave.. I have an obligation to stay here and put a stop to it.
I wish I had someone to talk to. Someone who cared, but everyone else has their own problems, so I have to deal with it myself... Not really a new experience, I suppose.
-The Rainmaker
7/14/2015 - 7/15/2015
There is hope, even in a farewell..
Eclipse has decided to leave Yugure for the time being... She says she needs to return to her homeland and see what has become of it. I understand and accept this. It hurts, but I know it'll be okay.. It has to be. She promised.
Even if I don't want her to go.. I wasn't about to stop her. It's not my right to do so. So, instead, we had a long conversation about it, as we lay in my den. Eventually, she asked if she could stay with me in my den for the night. Of course I agreed...and gave her my nest to sleep in. She doesn't deserve to sleep on the cold stone.
I wonder...how sincere was she being when she said all of those things? It's not that I doubt her, but.. Could it be..
I've certainly never felt like this in my life. It's strange how..content I feel, even though I know I won't see my best friend for quite a while. I'll sure miss her..
At least I have the crystal, and can always check in to make sure she's okay. I'll have to figure out something so that she's never in the dark about Yugure's current events.
And then..there appears to be yet another newcomer to the realms.. Tenebrae, I think his name was. Seemed to be quite friendly towards Eclipse...not sure if the feeling was mutual. He seems suspicious. Further interaction is needed before I'll know, though.. And through it all I've got to be on the look out for Ordealis's tricks. At least he can't do anything to separate me and Eclipse while she's gone.
The days ahead will be difficult, no doubt.. Lonely, for sure.. But that's okay. She'll be back before I know it.
~The Rainmaker
The Day & Night of 7/15/2015
Departure
So today was the day that Eclipse left the Realms in search of her homeland. I hope she finds what she's looking for.. And returns home safely. She promised, so I don't know why I'm worrying, but I suppose I can't help it. Even if she is totally capable of protecting herself...
We spent our last moments together on the grassy island in the Second Realm. Just...sitting together. Enjoying each other's company. I think it was one of the most peaceful and happiest things I've ever known.. I could experience it a thousand more times and never tire of it.
I thought about that first meeting of ours, in the realm called the Spires. Also my first day in Yugure, and I'd gotten myself horribly lost in my travels. What a strange twist of fate, for the first creature I met to later become my absolute best friend..
And..possibly more? I'm probably getting too far ahead of myself but everything that she's said and done these last few days, has made me get to thinking...
There on that hill, despite the beauty the Second Realm had to offer on this particular day, all I wanted to look at was Eclipse.. Take in every detail.. From the way the breeze ruffled her soft fur to the way the sunlight glimmered in her eyes... Her lovely voice and even her smile.
It's a memory I will hold with me forever, but especially so in the coming days.
As she prepared to leave, I was unable to help but give her a hug. Breathe in her scent for one last time.. "This is not goodbye.. This is 'see you later,'" she said as we parted, and she gave me a little lick on the cheek.. I watched her fly away until she was far out of sight.
You're right, Eclipse. If you don't say "goodbye," then you're not really gone. You're just...not here right now.
Afterwards, I found an apple tree, collected a few of the fruits and returned to my den in the Third Realm. My nest still held traces of her scent... However, my current priority is to figure out how to keep the crystal with me all the time. I think I have an idea.
~The Rainmaker
7/16/2015
Quiet Days
Today was a bit lonely, but I had much to occupy my mind. I spent the day trying to procure some sort of thick string that would work as a necklace chain. It took a while, but after going through several different creatures, who were all very helpful, I finally tracked some down.
I don't have much in the way of material possessions so I ran several errands for a kind grey gryphon. Basic things, really.. Mainly I flew around between the Realms delivering messages or returning borrowed objects. It only took me an hour or two, and was totally worth it. The gryphon also taught me how to properly tie the string so it wouldn't come untied. It's kind of hard to tie a knot with paws, but I figured it out eventually.
Upon returning to my den, I used a high-pressure stream of water just a tad bigger than the string and punched a hole through the crystal. It didn't seem to effect the magic of it, thankfully. After just a little while longer, mainly because the knot is so fiddly, I finally finished the necklace.
Now Eclipse will always be able to see what's going on, and hear everything around me. And the string is long enough that I can see the crystal clearly, so it goes both ways. I wonder what she's up to now...
The moon is coming up over the horizon and the forest is hushed, so I think I'll just stay in my den and look through the crystal until I fall asleep...
~The Rainmaker
7/19/2015
Observations
Today was rather slow and mostly uneventful. I found myself drifting off for a nap in the shade of a large apple tree, in the Second Realm. I think I napped for a few hours, perhaps a little more.. When I awoke, I was extremely thirsty, so after snatching myself an apple I headed for the river.
When I arrived at the river, that...stranger that Eclipse had been speaking with in my den a few days ago startled me. Tenebrae. Came up from behind me. I know he wasn't anywhere near me before, and he definitely didn't fly down. Very suspicious. We spent some time talking, in which I tried to be as polite yet unrevealing as possible.
He was rather nosy.. Asked where my family was, which in and of itself is a sore spot.. Asked what species I was, and then when I wouldn't go into detail about my abilities, he continued to pester and refused to tell me what he was. Even tried flattering me.. I really don't get good vibes from that guy.
Then this little pink cat showed up...very outgoing, very childish, and...honestly kind of annoying. Tried playing with my crystal and then started bugging Tenebrae, who took his leave and the little cat followed. Thank goodness..
I wonder what Eclipse is up to? I've decided to go stargazing, as the sky is clear and the moon is full. It's quiet, which gives me plenty of time to think about the state of things...
Is she missing me? Is she even thinking of me? Maybe she's having too much fun in her homeland. I've been looking through the crystal whenever I get the chance.. I've never seen the land she's visiting, but it looks like she's keeping herself pretty occupied, so that's good.
~The Rainmaker
7/20/2015
I never asked for this.
If I could tear Ordealis's throat out here and now, I would without hesitation. He deserves to be killed as brutally as any other heartless monster.
What did I do to deserve this? What made him decide to torment me with decisions like this? Why does it seem like I'm the only one being tormented and psychologically tortured?
I don't even have anyone to turn to. No one to discuss it with. No one to help me figure this out..
Decide on the fate of two of Yugure's creatures? Pick favorites? Send one or both of them to slaughter? How can I! That'd make me indirectly responsible for MURDER. That's..against everything that I stand for.. I couldn't bear to look at myself after something like that.. And Ordealis knows it.
But it's an ultimatum. A double-edged blade, pointed squarely at me. Choose one to live, the other dies...refusal, and they both die. What do I do..
I wish Eclipse was here... She may have gotten to see everything that happened, through the crystal.. But I have no way to have a conversation..
...Hello, sleepless nights, hello distancing myself from everyone... If I don't meet any new creatures, he'll have less ammunition for this little scheme of his, whenever he springs it on me..
..Maybe leaving the Realms isn't such a bad idea after all. I won't hurt anyone that way.
~The Rainmaker
7/23/2015
Volcanic Isles "vacation"
I have two options here... Betray myself, and save the life of just one creature, while dooming another to death. Or keep myself from uttering those words, but betray them both and doom them both to death.
Whichever road I take, I'll be destroying something or someone...
Until now, I've always gone down the straight and narrow path- the one that is clearly right. All my life, I was told I was a monster- that I held powers that no other dragon in the clan had, and that I was something to be feared. The only ones who seemed to believe I had any good in me, were my parents..
And sometimes I wonder if they even believed it at all... After all, just about every dragon there insisted I deserved to be abandoned at hatching, thrown to the kelpies or locked away from the rest of the world. My parents were always ridiculed.
It is for this reason that, ever since I "disappeared" from that place, I've vowed to uphold justice, use my powers for good and never hurt a single creature. I believe my parents and the entirety of my home clan were far safer and much more peaceful the day I left, but I have tried to bring even the tiniest bit of safety and security to every other land that I have visited since.
Ordealis knows that I hate to harm innocent creatures, so he has placed me at the indirect forefront of a murder. He claims it to be a game, but every life is worthwhile and should never be wasted...
I spoke with Geo today, and it got an idea, but I'm not certain how confident I am in this plan.. But then, I haven't felt much in the way of hope in the last few days.
I've left the Third Realm, seeing as Ordealis and many of my friends hang around there, and have found myself a den on one of the outermost islands in the Volcanic Isles. A little too tropic for my tastes, but very isolated... To my knowledge, he has never come here, or does not spend very much time here, so I should be safe for the time being.
~The Rainmaker
7/25/2015
Time Marches On. (And so do I..)
I've had a few days to think about this, now.. About how I'd approach this, how it might go down. About me, about Eclipse, about Yugure in general...
The fact is, I can't hide from this. It's going to happen whether I like it or not. Ordealis himself said they'd both die if I couldn't or wouldn't decide, so why did I even bother hiding away? And honestly... I wouldn't put it past him to kill them both regardless of what I say. I've been overthinking this.
The simple fact is that Ordealis is a backstabbing liar, and he finds the misery of others to be amusing. Well, I won't be allowing him to torment me any longer.
So later today I am leaving and heading back to my den in the Third Realm. It's where I'd prefer to be and I need to show Ordealis I'm not scared of him or any of his slaves, regardless of what he tries to do. I am no coward and I am certainly no pawn in his little games.
This is the first time I've felt at least a little bit like myself since all of this started. The stress has been having a horrible effect on my mentality, so from now on I'm going to try and be better at...well, being myself. Starting today. Once I return to the Third Realm, I'm going to go back to experimenting with my powers. I know I haven't discovered everything yet, so what better way to get back into the swing of things?
~The Rainmaker
7/27/2015
The Battle for the Hikari Clan
Waking up this morning, I opened my eyes only to see a large golden pegasus waiting outside of my den. I was rather...alarmed, after all I didn't recognize him whatsoever, but after proper introductions, I came to learn that his name was Heretic and he had some information I would probably find useful.
He told me about Ordealis's planned invasion on the Hikari Clan in the Second Realm- something to do with Enoki not accepting a deal. I'm not sure if this is some common rumor that I just so happened not to hear, but Heretic sure seemed to have something against Ordealis. Who could blame him?
After a farewell with the kind pegasus, I left for the Second Realm. I arrived only minutes before it would begin. Gryphons, dragons, and sabres gathered in the Hikari camp. I saw a few familiar faces as well - Gale, Enoki, Solstice.. And.. Eclipse, not long after..
Eclipse! I was so excited, it took so much willpower not to just..tackle her to the ground and hug her as tightly as possible... I probably would have, except we were moments from a battle- a battle which would commence just after me and Eclipse managed to greet each other.
The battle was chaotic, many of the soldiers died or were heavily wounded afterwards. There was even a point that I believed I had lost Eclipse.. Ordealis created an illusory haze, causing us all to see Eclipse disappear into his disgusting jaws.. I lost all control, so much anger and rage and hurt. To think I had failed to save her, and lost my beloved..
Admittedly, it may have been partially my fault- losing my control over myself, causing a temporary rainstorm- that Ordealis crawled away, alive but heavily wounded, as several of the others' attacks were fire-based. Sorry, Gale. Eheh..
And I will certainly be kicking myself for not dealing the final blow.. Because when Ordealis's haze disappeared, and I saw Eclipse laying limp but alive not far away, it was almost subconscious that I ran right over to her and ignored Ordealis. So he got away... Kind of wondering when I'll get backlash for that.
Regardless, peace has been restored, if only temporarily. Ordealis won't be showing his face around here any time soon- we did some serious damage to him. And I have my Eclipse back....
Me and Eclipse walked home to the Third Realm afterwards, staying very close to each other... And when we got there, we took the longer route to my den, and I let her recuperate in my nest. She looked even more beautiful than I remembered her, sleeping peacefully, alive and well. I don't ever want to lose her...
~The Rainmaker
7/28/2015
I've never known happiness like this..
8/5/2015
Safety In Numbers
The Morning of 9/2/2015
I don't know what to think anymore.
It's been so long since I've had the chance or motivation to log my experiences in Yugure. A lot has happened, since the last time I did. And a lot has changed.
Me and Heretic have become much closer friends in these few weeks. He's been there for me, whenever I need him. And boy..have I needed his company...
I'll start with the day after I met up with Eclipse in the Second Realm. After I had been searching for her for what felt like ages.. Worrying myself sick, almost quite literally- after all, we were on Ordealis's hitlist. Well, I ended up in Oasishu Desert. I don't..remember why, in fact my memory is a little foggy of a lot of stuff prior to that. I think I was looking to practice my abilities... Either way, it's not important.
Not every citizen of the desert is all too friendly, and I maaay have accidentally upset a particularly grouchy beast while I was so focused on practicing. This ended up with him attacking me, out of the blue. I fought back, but he still tore a good chunk out of my leg, and battered my wings beyond recognition before he smacked me over the head with his thick tail. The nasty bruise on my forehead indicated this is the most likely course of events. It also explains my foggy memory. I must have passed out.
I'm lucky as could be that the beast was satisfied with merely beating me up. I could've been killed... And imagine my surprise when I woke up later on to Heretic tending to my wounds and offering me some water. I was also lucky that I didn't dehydrate to death, but I felt I must have been close, as my throat was searing and I felt sick to my stomach.
Heretic explained that he had chased off some scavengers that had been lurking nearer to me while I lay in the sand, probably half dead. He took some pretty nasty hits from it, and I owe him my life. If he hadn't of found me...
...Would anyone have thought to search for me?
....No, no one would have, because Eclipse was too busy gallivanting off somewhere with Tracks.
...I feel like I might throw up. I'll...finish this later...
~The Rainmaker
Midnight of 9/2/2015
.....
So where did I leave off..? Oh, right.
So although I had been rescued from the relentless sun, from certain death no less..
I was still far too injured to go back. And yet still nobody came to look.
And according to Heretic, nobody had even really brought my name up. Not even Eclipse. Hadn't I just gone on a long search for her? "It's awfully one sided, don't you think?" Heretic was quick to remark.
After a few more days... He dropped a bombshell on me. Said that he'd visited the main realm, and seen Eclipse with Tracks. She apparently looked happy, and unconcerned. If it had been me.. I'd have been worried sick... What with Ordealis lurking over our lives...
We had a long conversation.. He's very blunt, but I trust him well. It wasn't the most tactful of conversations but I believe it.. Explains why I couldn't ever find her. Explains why she showed so little interest in me, over Tracks.
He's just like her. A..dracolupine, Heretic called them.
If I ever see either of them again, it will be too soon.
I didn't come back for a long time after Heretic told me this. Many a night I'd spend, trying to hold back tears, until those tears dried and all I could feel was the cold sting of abandonment.
And then I came back. Heretic tried to stop me. Didn't want me to feel worse.
I should've just listened to him. Because I saw them with my own eyes and.. They tried to make excuses..
Tried to claim they were family... Yeah. Right. Eclipse doesn't originate from Yugure, and it was pure chance she arrived in the realms, so I'm not going to believe that excuse.
....But it was so hard to see her like that. Was it fake? Or was it a genuine reaction..to her own guilt?
I don't know. I'm certain of myself here. All of the evidence points to one thing- that it's over.
I don't know what we are anymore. I don't know what I am.
She was the world to me.
~The Rainmaker
9/3/2015-9/12/2015
A Summary...
I feel like I've slept for a year and awoken, only to see the world entirely different, everyone I thought I knew completely changed, so many things to take in and I'm quickly beginning to drown beneath it all.
Does anyone even remember me anymore? How long has it been? I promised her a day or two, but now it's...a week? Two? I don't even know anymore.
I've fully recovered from my near-death experience, thanks to the continued care Heretic has offered me. He....sure made me panic with all of that apparent misinformation about Eclipse, but he's since apologized and said that he only wished to keep me informed about what appeared to be going on. I suppose I jumped to a lot of conclusions, myself.
A few days after I basically called it off with Eclipse, she found me in the Volcanic Isles. Explained so many things to me, to the point I felt overwhelmed and even a little sick to my stomach. She...was violated by some disgusting new villain, and I wasn't there to protect her... I feel so guilty, but what could I have possibly done? I was in no condition to travel, no thanks to anyone other than Heretic because nobody else gave a crap enough to LOOK for me...!
I'm torn between being extremely hurt that I was abandoned so easily, and feeling guilty that I was gone and some...creature...did that to my..beloved...
I'm not sure I know what it means to have someone loyal to me, anymore. What happens next time? Do I have to always keep her in my sights, so that she doesn't get hurt on my watch..and I don't end up terribly wounded and without help for days on end?
...Do I even want her back?
...I know that answer to that, but I don't know if I trust myself anymore.
If she can't prove her loyalty... If I return, only to be greeted with harsh looks or more interrogation as to my whereabouts.. I may not stay long..
I value myself far more than to look past how I've been treated. But I will be going back... Even if Heretic's not entirely happy with it.
~The Rainmaker
Somehow...despite my words, despite my actions, despite...me being me.. Eclipse forgave me. I hadn't even gotten a chance to say sorry before she forgave me.. Is she so certain that was the right thing to do?
After all, everything I touch is ruined in the end. I'll probably just end up hurting her again.
...No, I shouldn't think like that. That's not..how I was taught. Maybe it's just these realms.. Prior to this place..other than the land I was hatched in, everything was great.. No death, no stress, no betrayal and certainly no creatures bent on world domination...
Of course.. I've also never met someone as amazing as Eclipse, in all my travels.. Or as great as any of the others. They're all very important to me.. I guess I never had time to. It was one place for a week, another for a day, some for a month or two..
Yet I feel like everything is out to get me here. Everything, and everyone. Betrayal has been a common theme already, and even though true betrayal has only been found in those that never cared for me anyway.. It just goes to show how easily reality can tear apart.
Have I just been naive all of these years? I've never known misery such as this! Not since I left. Have I been expecting too much? Have I been too cheery, too trusting, too..loyal?
I think Ordealis has done something to my mind.. Maybe that's what happens when you're endlessly tormented when the world already felt as dark as it could be. A world which was brightened to almost blinding amounts, as Eclipse and I repaired our bond..but I didn't say everything I should have and now I just feel very empty. And..strangely broken.
I think I said something wrong... I didn't leave that conversation feeling as great as I had hoped.
Who knew a cold, empty cave could feel so lonely? I love its location...but the trickle of the river can only keep me happy for so long.
Where do I go from here? Do I leave the realms, resume my travels, go back to my nomadic lifestyle? Maybe always moving around just got me out of places before things went south. But Ordealis isn't finished wreaking havoc, and so far I'm the only one who knows the truth about him.
I guess I can't leave.. I have an obligation to stay here and put a stop to it.
I wish I had someone to talk to. Someone who cared, but everyone else has their own problems, so I have to deal with it myself... Not really a new experience, I suppose.
-The Rainmaker
7/14/2015 - 7/15/2015
There is hope, even in a farewell..
Eclipse has decided to leave Yugure for the time being... She says she needs to return to her homeland and see what has become of it. I understand and accept this. It hurts, but I know it'll be okay.. It has to be. She promised.
Even if I don't want her to go.. I wasn't about to stop her. It's not my right to do so. So, instead, we had a long conversation about it, as we lay in my den. Eventually, she asked if she could stay with me in my den for the night. Of course I agreed...and gave her my nest to sleep in. She doesn't deserve to sleep on the cold stone.
I wonder...how sincere was she being when she said all of those things? It's not that I doubt her, but.. Could it be..
I've certainly never felt like this in my life. It's strange how..content I feel, even though I know I won't see my best friend for quite a while. I'll sure miss her..
At least I have the crystal, and can always check in to make sure she's okay. I'll have to figure out something so that she's never in the dark about Yugure's current events.
And then..there appears to be yet another newcomer to the realms.. Tenebrae, I think his name was. Seemed to be quite friendly towards Eclipse...not sure if the feeling was mutual. He seems suspicious. Further interaction is needed before I'll know, though.. And through it all I've got to be on the look out for Ordealis's tricks. At least he can't do anything to separate me and Eclipse while she's gone.
The days ahead will be difficult, no doubt.. Lonely, for sure.. But that's okay. She'll be back before I know it.
~The Rainmaker
The Day & Night of 7/15/2015
Departure
So today was the day that Eclipse left the Realms in search of her homeland. I hope she finds what she's looking for.. And returns home safely. She promised, so I don't know why I'm worrying, but I suppose I can't help it. Even if she is totally capable of protecting herself...
We spent our last moments together on the grassy island in the Second Realm. Just...sitting together. Enjoying each other's company. I think it was one of the most peaceful and happiest things I've ever known.. I could experience it a thousand more times and never tire of it.
I thought about that first meeting of ours, in the realm called the Spires. Also my first day in Yugure, and I'd gotten myself horribly lost in my travels. What a strange twist of fate, for the first creature I met to later become my absolute best friend..
And..possibly more? I'm probably getting too far ahead of myself but everything that she's said and done these last few days, has made me get to thinking...
There on that hill, despite the beauty the Second Realm had to offer on this particular day, all I wanted to look at was Eclipse.. Take in every detail.. From the way the breeze ruffled her soft fur to the way the sunlight glimmered in her eyes... Her lovely voice and even her smile.
It's a memory I will hold with me forever, but especially so in the coming days.
As she prepared to leave, I was unable to help but give her a hug. Breathe in her scent for one last time.. "This is not goodbye.. This is 'see you later,'" she said as we parted, and she gave me a little lick on the cheek.. I watched her fly away until she was far out of sight.
You're right, Eclipse. If you don't say "goodbye," then you're not really gone. You're just...not here right now.
Afterwards, I found an apple tree, collected a few of the fruits and returned to my den in the Third Realm. My nest still held traces of her scent... However, my current priority is to figure out how to keep the crystal with me all the time. I think I have an idea.
~The Rainmaker
7/16/2015
Quiet Days
Today was a bit lonely, but I had much to occupy my mind. I spent the day trying to procure some sort of thick string that would work as a necklace chain. It took a while, but after going through several different creatures, who were all very helpful, I finally tracked some down.
I don't have much in the way of material possessions so I ran several errands for a kind grey gryphon. Basic things, really.. Mainly I flew around between the Realms delivering messages or returning borrowed objects. It only took me an hour or two, and was totally worth it. The gryphon also taught me how to properly tie the string so it wouldn't come untied. It's kind of hard to tie a knot with paws, but I figured it out eventually.
Upon returning to my den, I used a high-pressure stream of water just a tad bigger than the string and punched a hole through the crystal. It didn't seem to effect the magic of it, thankfully. After just a little while longer, mainly because the knot is so fiddly, I finally finished the necklace.
Now Eclipse will always be able to see what's going on, and hear everything around me. And the string is long enough that I can see the crystal clearly, so it goes both ways. I wonder what she's up to now...
The moon is coming up over the horizon and the forest is hushed, so I think I'll just stay in my den and look through the crystal until I fall asleep...
~The Rainmaker
7/19/2015
Observations
Today was rather slow and mostly uneventful. I found myself drifting off for a nap in the shade of a large apple tree, in the Second Realm. I think I napped for a few hours, perhaps a little more.. When I awoke, I was extremely thirsty, so after snatching myself an apple I headed for the river.
When I arrived at the river, that...stranger that Eclipse had been speaking with in my den a few days ago startled me. Tenebrae. Came up from behind me. I know he wasn't anywhere near me before, and he definitely didn't fly down. Very suspicious. We spent some time talking, in which I tried to be as polite yet unrevealing as possible.
He was rather nosy.. Asked where my family was, which in and of itself is a sore spot.. Asked what species I was, and then when I wouldn't go into detail about my abilities, he continued to pester and refused to tell me what he was. Even tried flattering me.. I really don't get good vibes from that guy.
Then this little pink cat showed up...very outgoing, very childish, and...honestly kind of annoying. Tried playing with my crystal and then started bugging Tenebrae, who took his leave and the little cat followed. Thank goodness..
I wonder what Eclipse is up to? I've decided to go stargazing, as the sky is clear and the moon is full. It's quiet, which gives me plenty of time to think about the state of things...
Is she missing me? Is she even thinking of me? Maybe she's having too much fun in her homeland. I've been looking through the crystal whenever I get the chance.. I've never seen the land she's visiting, but it looks like she's keeping herself pretty occupied, so that's good.
~The Rainmaker
7/20/2015
I never asked for this.
If I could tear Ordealis's throat out here and now, I would without hesitation. He deserves to be killed as brutally as any other heartless monster.
What did I do to deserve this? What made him decide to torment me with decisions like this? Why does it seem like I'm the only one being tormented and psychologically tortured?
I don't even have anyone to turn to. No one to discuss it with. No one to help me figure this out..
Decide on the fate of two of Yugure's creatures? Pick favorites? Send one or both of them to slaughter? How can I! That'd make me indirectly responsible for MURDER. That's..against everything that I stand for.. I couldn't bear to look at myself after something like that.. And Ordealis knows it.
But it's an ultimatum. A double-edged blade, pointed squarely at me. Choose one to live, the other dies...refusal, and they both die. What do I do..
I wish Eclipse was here... She may have gotten to see everything that happened, through the crystal.. But I have no way to have a conversation..
...Hello, sleepless nights, hello distancing myself from everyone... If I don't meet any new creatures, he'll have less ammunition for this little scheme of his, whenever he springs it on me..
..Maybe leaving the Realms isn't such a bad idea after all. I won't hurt anyone that way.
~The Rainmaker
7/23/2015
Volcanic Isles "vacation"
I have two options here... Betray myself, and save the life of just one creature, while dooming another to death. Or keep myself from uttering those words, but betray them both and doom them both to death.
Whichever road I take, I'll be destroying something or someone...
Until now, I've always gone down the straight and narrow path- the one that is clearly right. All my life, I was told I was a monster- that I held powers that no other dragon in the clan had, and that I was something to be feared. The only ones who seemed to believe I had any good in me, were my parents..
And sometimes I wonder if they even believed it at all... After all, just about every dragon there insisted I deserved to be abandoned at hatching, thrown to the kelpies or locked away from the rest of the world. My parents were always ridiculed.
It is for this reason that, ever since I "disappeared" from that place, I've vowed to uphold justice, use my powers for good and never hurt a single creature. I believe my parents and the entirety of my home clan were far safer and much more peaceful the day I left, but I have tried to bring even the tiniest bit of safety and security to every other land that I have visited since.
Ordealis knows that I hate to harm innocent creatures, so he has placed me at the indirect forefront of a murder. He claims it to be a game, but every life is worthwhile and should never be wasted...
I spoke with Geo today, and it got an idea, but I'm not certain how confident I am in this plan.. But then, I haven't felt much in the way of hope in the last few days.
I've left the Third Realm, seeing as Ordealis and many of my friends hang around there, and have found myself a den on one of the outermost islands in the Volcanic Isles. A little too tropic for my tastes, but very isolated... To my knowledge, he has never come here, or does not spend very much time here, so I should be safe for the time being.
~The Rainmaker
7/25/2015
Time Marches On. (And so do I..)
I've had a few days to think about this, now.. About how I'd approach this, how it might go down. About me, about Eclipse, about Yugure in general...
The fact is, I can't hide from this. It's going to happen whether I like it or not. Ordealis himself said they'd both die if I couldn't or wouldn't decide, so why did I even bother hiding away? And honestly... I wouldn't put it past him to kill them both regardless of what I say. I've been overthinking this.
The simple fact is that Ordealis is a backstabbing liar, and he finds the misery of others to be amusing. Well, I won't be allowing him to torment me any longer.
So later today I am leaving and heading back to my den in the Third Realm. It's where I'd prefer to be and I need to show Ordealis I'm not scared of him or any of his slaves, regardless of what he tries to do. I am no coward and I am certainly no pawn in his little games.
This is the first time I've felt at least a little bit like myself since all of this started. The stress has been having a horrible effect on my mentality, so from now on I'm going to try and be better at...well, being myself. Starting today. Once I return to the Third Realm, I'm going to go back to experimenting with my powers. I know I haven't discovered everything yet, so what better way to get back into the swing of things?
~The Rainmaker
7/27/2015
The Battle for the Hikari Clan
Waking up this morning, I opened my eyes only to see a large golden pegasus waiting outside of my den. I was rather...alarmed, after all I didn't recognize him whatsoever, but after proper introductions, I came to learn that his name was Heretic and he had some information I would probably find useful.
He told me about Ordealis's planned invasion on the Hikari Clan in the Second Realm- something to do with Enoki not accepting a deal. I'm not sure if this is some common rumor that I just so happened not to hear, but Heretic sure seemed to have something against Ordealis. Who could blame him?
After a farewell with the kind pegasus, I left for the Second Realm. I arrived only minutes before it would begin. Gryphons, dragons, and sabres gathered in the Hikari camp. I saw a few familiar faces as well - Gale, Enoki, Solstice.. And.. Eclipse, not long after..
Eclipse! I was so excited, it took so much willpower not to just..tackle her to the ground and hug her as tightly as possible... I probably would have, except we were moments from a battle- a battle which would commence just after me and Eclipse managed to greet each other.
The battle was chaotic, many of the soldiers died or were heavily wounded afterwards. There was even a point that I believed I had lost Eclipse.. Ordealis created an illusory haze, causing us all to see Eclipse disappear into his disgusting jaws.. I lost all control, so much anger and rage and hurt. To think I had failed to save her, and lost my beloved..
Admittedly, it may have been partially my fault- losing my control over myself, causing a temporary rainstorm- that Ordealis crawled away, alive but heavily wounded, as several of the others' attacks were fire-based. Sorry, Gale. Eheh..
And I will certainly be kicking myself for not dealing the final blow.. Because when Ordealis's haze disappeared, and I saw Eclipse laying limp but alive not far away, it was almost subconscious that I ran right over to her and ignored Ordealis. So he got away... Kind of wondering when I'll get backlash for that.
Regardless, peace has been restored, if only temporarily. Ordealis won't be showing his face around here any time soon- we did some serious damage to him. And I have my Eclipse back....
Me and Eclipse walked home to the Third Realm afterwards, staying very close to each other... And when we got there, we took the longer route to my den, and I let her recuperate in my nest. She looked even more beautiful than I remembered her, sleeping peacefully, alive and well. I don't ever want to lose her...
~The Rainmaker
7/28/2015
I've never known happiness like this..
I had no clue what was in store for me when I woke up, but today was absolutely wonderful.
I let Eclipse rest as long as she needed to, while I sat on my den's porch and just..thought about things. With peace restored, many of my thoughts went to happier things, instead of the usual contemplations about Ordealis and the fate of the Realms.
It wasn't long after that I noticed she had awoken, and I went over to her, asking her how she was feeling. Our conversation would soon take an unexpected but wonderful turn, as she eased into asking about how we feel towards each other. That, perhaps, we were more than simply best friends.
Indeed, we soon admitted to each other that...that we're in love. It still sounds so foreign, like I'm imagining it all, but no- this is real. And to say I'm ecstatic is an understatement..
I never thought I'd actually be able to say I have someone to love, and that there's someone who loves me. I never thought I'd hear her say those words.
And seeing her so happy, too... Moving with purpose, no longer hanging her head or slinking around. I've never seen her smile so much, but I adore it..
I know without a doubt this is how things are meant to be.
I feel a new chapter upon us. One in which I will not be alone, one where happiness reigns. It's a bright new day, and I can't wait to see where our path, together, leads.
~The RainmakerI let Eclipse rest as long as she needed to, while I sat on my den's porch and just..thought about things. With peace restored, many of my thoughts went to happier things, instead of the usual contemplations about Ordealis and the fate of the Realms.
It wasn't long after that I noticed she had awoken, and I went over to her, asking her how she was feeling. Our conversation would soon take an unexpected but wonderful turn, as she eased into asking about how we feel towards each other. That, perhaps, we were more than simply best friends.
Indeed, we soon admitted to each other that...that we're in love. It still sounds so foreign, like I'm imagining it all, but no- this is real. And to say I'm ecstatic is an understatement..
I never thought I'd actually be able to say I have someone to love, and that there's someone who loves me. I never thought I'd hear her say those words.
And seeing her so happy, too... Moving with purpose, no longer hanging her head or slinking around. I've never seen her smile so much, but I adore it..
I know without a doubt this is how things are meant to be.
I feel a new chapter upon us. One in which I will not be alone, one where happiness reigns. It's a bright new day, and I can't wait to see where our path, together, leads.
8/5/2015
Safety In Numbers
Without letting Eclipse know - an irresponsible action, I admit - I wandered off from the Third Realm to do some training in the Second Realm and in Oasishu. Peace has been reigning for a little while now, but I am not so foolish as to believe fighting will no longer be necessary in the future. I have to keep learning, keep mastering, get better and better...
Eclipse found me in the Second Realm today, as I had a little snack break by a pond. She looked so panicked and terrified.. Through panting and catching her breath, she explained her concerns..
Ordealis has begun recruiting new creatures into the League of Mists, and promising to fulfill any wishes they may have.... Under the condition that they kill those on his 'hit list.'
That list consists of... Me as #1, Enoki as #2, Eclipse as #3, Gale and Miindohil as #4 and 5. I'm not surprised.. Time and time again, our faces have been there in his defeat. We have always been the ones to 'rebel' against him, and show defiance among the crowds.
I'm not scared that I'm #1... Ordealis can send whoever he wants to after me. I'll send them all packing.
However.. I'm terrified that Eclipse is on there at all. I know she can handle herself... But I don't want to lose her...
So..from now on, me and her are going to try and stay together as much as possible. Sure, it means grouping two targets together, but there is always safety in numbers. If nothing else, we need to stay with trusted allies. Straying out on our own could be fatal. They'd gladly pick us off one by one.
And now we must be far more vigilant on the whereabouts of creatures, and their affiliations. Ordealis no doubt has spies within our ranks....
Come get me, Ordealis. Send your League of Mists after me. I invite you with raised weapons. But you are foolish if you believe you will get anywhere near Eclipse without hearing from me first.
~The RainmakerEclipse found me in the Second Realm today, as I had a little snack break by a pond. She looked so panicked and terrified.. Through panting and catching her breath, she explained her concerns..
Ordealis has begun recruiting new creatures into the League of Mists, and promising to fulfill any wishes they may have.... Under the condition that they kill those on his 'hit list.'
That list consists of... Me as #1, Enoki as #2, Eclipse as #3, Gale and Miindohil as #4 and 5. I'm not surprised.. Time and time again, our faces have been there in his defeat. We have always been the ones to 'rebel' against him, and show defiance among the crowds.
I'm not scared that I'm #1... Ordealis can send whoever he wants to after me. I'll send them all packing.
However.. I'm terrified that Eclipse is on there at all. I know she can handle herself... But I don't want to lose her...
So..from now on, me and her are going to try and stay together as much as possible. Sure, it means grouping two targets together, but there is always safety in numbers. If nothing else, we need to stay with trusted allies. Straying out on our own could be fatal. They'd gladly pick us off one by one.
And now we must be far more vigilant on the whereabouts of creatures, and their affiliations. Ordealis no doubt has spies within our ranks....
Come get me, Ordealis. Send your League of Mists after me. I invite you with raised weapons. But you are foolish if you believe you will get anywhere near Eclipse without hearing from me first.
The Morning of 9/2/2015
I don't know what to think anymore.
It's been so long since I've had the chance or motivation to log my experiences in Yugure. A lot has happened, since the last time I did. And a lot has changed.
Me and Heretic have become much closer friends in these few weeks. He's been there for me, whenever I need him. And boy..have I needed his company...
I'll start with the day after I met up with Eclipse in the Second Realm. After I had been searching for her for what felt like ages.. Worrying myself sick, almost quite literally- after all, we were on Ordealis's hitlist. Well, I ended up in Oasishu Desert. I don't..remember why, in fact my memory is a little foggy of a lot of stuff prior to that. I think I was looking to practice my abilities... Either way, it's not important.
Not every citizen of the desert is all too friendly, and I maaay have accidentally upset a particularly grouchy beast while I was so focused on practicing. This ended up with him attacking me, out of the blue. I fought back, but he still tore a good chunk out of my leg, and battered my wings beyond recognition before he smacked me over the head with his thick tail. The nasty bruise on my forehead indicated this is the most likely course of events. It also explains my foggy memory. I must have passed out.
I'm lucky as could be that the beast was satisfied with merely beating me up. I could've been killed... And imagine my surprise when I woke up later on to Heretic tending to my wounds and offering me some water. I was also lucky that I didn't dehydrate to death, but I felt I must have been close, as my throat was searing and I felt sick to my stomach.
Heretic explained that he had chased off some scavengers that had been lurking nearer to me while I lay in the sand, probably half dead. He took some pretty nasty hits from it, and I owe him my life. If he hadn't of found me...
...Would anyone have thought to search for me?
....No, no one would have, because Eclipse was too busy gallivanting off somewhere with Tracks.
...I feel like I might throw up. I'll...finish this later...
~The Rainmaker
Midnight of 9/2/2015
.....
So where did I leave off..? Oh, right.
So although I had been rescued from the relentless sun, from certain death no less..
I was still far too injured to go back. And yet still nobody came to look.
And according to Heretic, nobody had even really brought my name up. Not even Eclipse. Hadn't I just gone on a long search for her? "It's awfully one sided, don't you think?" Heretic was quick to remark.
After a few more days... He dropped a bombshell on me. Said that he'd visited the main realm, and seen Eclipse with Tracks. She apparently looked happy, and unconcerned. If it had been me.. I'd have been worried sick... What with Ordealis lurking over our lives...
We had a long conversation.. He's very blunt, but I trust him well. It wasn't the most tactful of conversations but I believe it.. Explains why I couldn't ever find her. Explains why she showed so little interest in me, over Tracks.
He's just like her. A..dracolupine, Heretic called them.
If I ever see either of them again, it will be too soon.
I didn't come back for a long time after Heretic told me this. Many a night I'd spend, trying to hold back tears, until those tears dried and all I could feel was the cold sting of abandonment.
And then I came back. Heretic tried to stop me. Didn't want me to feel worse.
I should've just listened to him. Because I saw them with my own eyes and.. They tried to make excuses..
Tried to claim they were family... Yeah. Right. Eclipse doesn't originate from Yugure, and it was pure chance she arrived in the realms, so I'm not going to believe that excuse.
....But it was so hard to see her like that. Was it fake? Or was it a genuine reaction..to her own guilt?
I don't know. I'm certain of myself here. All of the evidence points to one thing- that it's over.
I don't know what we are anymore. I don't know what I am.
She was the world to me.
~The Rainmaker
9/3/2015-9/12/2015
A Summary...
I feel like I've slept for a year and awoken, only to see the world entirely different, everyone I thought I knew completely changed, so many things to take in and I'm quickly beginning to drown beneath it all.
Does anyone even remember me anymore? How long has it been? I promised her a day or two, but now it's...a week? Two? I don't even know anymore.
I've fully recovered from my near-death experience, thanks to the continued care Heretic has offered me. He....sure made me panic with all of that apparent misinformation about Eclipse, but he's since apologized and said that he only wished to keep me informed about what appeared to be going on. I suppose I jumped to a lot of conclusions, myself.
A few days after I basically called it off with Eclipse, she found me in the Volcanic Isles. Explained so many things to me, to the point I felt overwhelmed and even a little sick to my stomach. She...was violated by some disgusting new villain, and I wasn't there to protect her... I feel so guilty, but what could I have possibly done? I was in no condition to travel, no thanks to anyone other than Heretic because nobody else gave a crap enough to LOOK for me...!
I'm torn between being extremely hurt that I was abandoned so easily, and feeling guilty that I was gone and some...creature...did that to my..beloved...
I'm not sure I know what it means to have someone loyal to me, anymore. What happens next time? Do I have to always keep her in my sights, so that she doesn't get hurt on my watch..and I don't end up terribly wounded and without help for days on end?
...Do I even want her back?
...I know that answer to that, but I don't know if I trust myself anymore.
If she can't prove her loyalty... If I return, only to be greeted with harsh looks or more interrogation as to my whereabouts.. I may not stay long..
I value myself far more than to look past how I've been treated. But I will be going back... Even if Heretic's not entirely happy with it.
~The Rainmaker